life, motherhood

Parenting adults: is it the high road or the low road?

Answer: it’s both and it can be beautiful and bumpy, so buckle up!roughroad1

If you had asked me a few years back whether I thought parenting would be harder when our girls were young adults, I would have chuckled and said no. Then I might have wondered why you were asking…

One of my biggest parenting challenges has been to sit back and watch as our daughters navigate the harder life lessons that come along with #adulting. I labored through those years under the notion, that once they reached adulthood, all the lessons I taught would have a trickle down effect. I know that does actually happen. It’s just not happening all at once.

Like every other parenting stage, much of it has been really rewarding, but truthfully, there are times when it feels like I’m herding cats.

Where is the owner’s manual, or at the very least, that big red “easy” button, when you need it?

My job is to teach. To protect them while also allowing (age appropriate and non-life threatening) mistakes. There is no definitive rule on how to do this. It’s not always as simple as it sounds.

Maybe dodgeball is a better comparison? Remember that movie with Vince Vaughn and Ben Stiller? “Just remember the five D’s of dodgeball: Dodge, duck, dip, dive, and…dodge.” Parenting adult children is like a dodgeball game. Except you don’t always feel like you’re dodging. The lines are blurred. It’s harder to get out of the way, and just like in the movie, you often take one to the gut, the head, or both.

It starts when our children are small and we are new to the parenting game. Our first inclination is to “fix” whatever is wrong. They cry; we pick them up. We kiss all the boo-boo’s big and small; even the ones we know we don’t need to. Maybe we want to give them all the things we didn’t have as a child, or we feel some guilt when we go to work and try to compensate for that. Maybe they sleep in our bed when we really don’t want them to, or we’re tired, so we let it slide when they misbehave.

I don’t believe you can ever love your babies too much, it’s simply not possible, but as they get older, we have to learn to separate the boo-boo’s. Hovering like a helicopter to keep them from experiencing pain, or spoiling them just because you can, doesn’t benefit you, your people, or anyone who has to be around them for an extended period of time.

Fred is running by the pool after you have asked him not to. SallyJane is out of bed for the umpteenth time, for no apparent reason, and now wants to sleep in your bed. Every child and every household is different. How do you manage it?

Me? I was a young mom “with everything to prove”. There were many things I was steadfast on. Sleeping in our bed wasn’t a regular thing at our house. I use this example because I have been asked this question dozens of times over the years. They could sleep with us if they were sick. They could fall asleep with us when they needed the extra cuddles. That was it. I always felt our kids needed positive separation from us and that quiet time with my husband was very valuable to me. We all know that having one child in your bed is like having a whole herd of them in there! Who could possibly be well rested after dangling precariously from exactly 1.64 inches of a mattress all night? While they might only be three feet tall, those little stinkers spread out, into all four corners of the bed, like a giant octopus. Their head is angelically placed on the pillow, but their knees and feet are somehow wedged in your sternum and kicking the small of your back simultaneously!

Uhhhh, no thanks.

“Please don’t run by the pool Fred. It’s not safe. You could slip and fall.” Suddenly, there is howling and skinned body parts. I clean up the knee, or elbow, or chin (or all three!) and Fred is poolside, marinating in sunscreen and consequences.

That said, I certainly doled out more than my share of kisses for those questionable boo-boo’s. The key? Find the balance between their currency and your own and choose wisely.

You’re not always going to get it right. Sometimes we’re just too overwhelmed, or too damn tired to dodge the ball! I’ve said before that parenting is about using the tools you have to put your best foot forward 99% of the time. If you missed that post, you can read it here. The remaining 1% is reserved for the days when that last nerve is on the brink of nuclear detonation. It’s OK, we all have them.

mary_poppinsAs hard as it is to separate, I am learning that I cannot allow parental guilt to be a factor, at any stage. We are allowed to make, and then reconcile, mistakes! It’s expected really. Life can wear out even the most persistent “Mary Poppins”, and I guarantee that the spoonful of sugar she sings about won’t save you!

Besides, Mary was never a parent, remember? She just flew in, solved the household problems of the moment, and then drifted away on the breeze.

Whatevs Mary.

I can tell you the scenarios only become more challenging as kids get older, but I have discovered the basic principles are the same.

So how do you know when to dodge? The truth? Sometimes you don’t; sometimes the answer is really easy, whether you want to see it or not; and sometimes the answer is to draw a line in the sand and not step over it.

f2fbc252bd8ca74e10e043ac02134355Staying connected: Adult children are often focused on themselves. Do your best to keep your lines of communication open. You want to know everything that is going on in their lives, but you don’t want to know everything. Parental guidance should begin to take a back seat to the opinions they are forming on their own, but they continue to need the emotional and moral compass provided by parents.

Finding the balance: This has been one of the most difficult for me, but stepping back is vital to their success as adults. Sometimes they take the scenic route. You won’t always agree with their choices, which may be vastly different from yours. Express your feelings without guilt. Let your child know that, even when you don’t agree, you accept that their opinions and choices might differ from your own.

8a6f11e53fe5eb41cc197a374f64465bTrusting your choices: Remember that the word NO is a complete sentence. Successful parenting includes setting standards for behavior while fostering love and mutual respect. Taking a hands-off approach, in order to avoid conflict, will leave children without clarity regarding what is expected of them. This can breed a “victim” mentality and a child who cannot see fault in their actions. That behavior isn’t beneficial to anyone.

Setting expectations: Young adults need to learn to take responsibility for themselves. Allow them make their own decisions and live with the consequences. This is often easier said than done.

Setting limits: It’s easy for parental guilt to jump in the driver’s seat. No matter what mistakes have been made in the past, if you have done your best to reconcile those mistakes, move forward. You are not a doormat. Boundaries should move to the forefront. No more blurred lines. Be clear and fair. Don’t be arbitrary in setting limits. Explain your reasons. They may not understand all of it right away and that’s OK. In the long run, the relationship between you and your child will benefit.

I don’t have all the answers. In fact, I feel like I have taken more shots to the gut in the last two months than ever before, but I am determined to turn good people out into the world. What is most important to me is that our daughters continue to develop into strong and independent women. Women who among other things; love themselves and their families, work hard, surround themselves with a circle of wonderful people, and understand the importance of paying it forward and giving back to their community.

I’m still learning. Dodge, duck, dip, dive, and dodge.

-Kim

 

motherhood

A note to all moms: I see you!

Tomorrow is Mother’s Day. I don’t know about you, but I intend to celebrate at home, outside in the sunshine. No computer, no tablet, no phone, and I don’t plan to check my email, or phone messages until Monday!

New moms: Pat yourself on the back, you’re doing a great job! The first year of motherhood is a unique set of challenges. Say yes to offers of help. Keep taking it one day at a time and do not subscribe to any predetermined list of expectations. Very rarely is any part of this job “by the book”.

Toddler moms: “Terrible two” isn’t really that bad. It’s three that you need to watch out for. Don’t be afraid to ask for help and a hug. Nap time is your friend, an extra 30 minutes in front of the TV won’t “ruin” them, and time-outs (even for you) are OK! There will be public tantrums. This too shall pass. If I see you in Target, or the grocery store, looking frazzled, the first words out of my mouth will be “we’ve all been there!” You’re never alone in this!

School aged moms: Being “Supermom” is overrated. Being “Mom” is absolutely enough. Take time for yourself. Whether you head off to work during the day, or work from home; with laundry, cooking, homework, errands, and other household chores looming, it’s easy to get caught up in the idea that if you’re not “busy” you’re not doing your job. Wrong. Do something daily, weekly, or monthly that improves your personal well-being. There is some truth behind, “If mom’s not happy, nobody’s happy.”

“Obsolete” moms: Embrace your emotions. You have turned the corner, the role shift has begun and you have earned the right to feel all of those feelings. What now? Reinvent yourself. Congratulations if you have your next act figured out! If you’re still on the edge of the pool, put your life jacket on and jump in! Paddle around in that pool until you figure it out.

To all moms: Thank you for the things that often go unnoticed…

  • Getting up early to make breakfast and lunches.
  • Those who mother alone or without much support.
  • Kissed elbows and band-aids on knees.
  • Reading Goodnight Moon or Harold and the Purple Crayon for the 1000th time.
  • Stopping to wonder if you’re doing all of this (or any of it) “right”.
  • Getting back into the car to drop off at practice, or pick up, or both.
  • Clean laundry.
  • For Dads who “Mother”.
  • Rocking colicky babies.
  • Going without so your children can have what they need.
  • Applying sunscreen.
  • Finding the lost blanket, pacifier, shoe, stuffed toy, bouncy ball, favorite shirt…
  • Pushing forward even when you think you might break.
  • Extra time in the morning braiding hair.
  • Teaching them how to be kind.
  • Handmade costumes.
  • Cheering them on.
  • Helping with homework, when you still need to do your own.
  • Wholesome dinners prepped when you don’t feel like it.
  • Nights spent sleeping in a chair, holding a sick child.
  • Giggling and belly laughs.
  • Volunteering at school, for sports, or wherever you are needed.
  • Strength when they are vulnerable.
  • Movie nights, cuddled up under blankets, with popcorn.
  • Standing up and defending your child when necessary.
  • Tucking them in every night.
  • Baking cupcakes at 11PM.
  • Showing them how to appreciate the beauty in the world.
  • Worrying about all of the little things.
  • For hugs and kisses that are second nature.
  • Encouraging them to work hard and follow their dreams.
  • The smile on your face and doing your best, even when you’re exhausted.
  • And ALL that you do to make their world a better place.

You are enough and more than enough. You are a #mom and you are incredible!

Happy Mother’s Day!

-Kim

life, motherhood

15 Realizations about parenting kids that are 18+…

Being a mom is the best job I have ever had and it has also been the most challenging. I have struggled with the motherhood role changes the passage of time brings. If you’re not familiar with my story, you can read my very first post here.

I still miss our babies cuddled up in my lap, listening to a story, or the muffled patter of the rain in the middle of the night. I miss the “baby smell”, their sweet little faces watching me intently while we sing quietly in the rocking chair, baking cookies with them, and regular family movie nights with all of us snugly tucked into our bed.

drivinglessons
Realization #11

The other day, I was in the midst of writing another post and our oldest came buzzing in from work. She sat down to chat with me for a few minutes about her day and then she proceeded to make something to eat, before disappearing to shower.

In the moments after that interaction, I came to the realization (several of them really) that being an #obsolete mom, and parenting kids 18+, has some real advantages.

15 Realizations about parenting kids that are 18+…

1. They do their own laundry!!! Enough said.

2. Going out to dinner isn’t a crap shoot anymore and the restaurant doesn’t have to be family-friendly. There’s no worrying about the possible no-nap meltdown, who has the green crayon, or fighting over which fork belongs to who.

3. The only butt I have to wipe is my own. If you consider this TMI, sorry. With the exception of changing the toilet paper roll, they handle their own bathroom business. I mean what could anyone possibly miss about wiping someone else’s behind? The end.

4. I no longer have to watch Beauty and the Beast, Sleeping Beauty, The Little Mermaid, Pooh’s Grand Adventure, or The Jungle Book 585 times in a row. Disneyland is truly one of my FAVORITE places and I love Disney movies, but I don’t feel the need to see any of them on repeat anymore.

5. When not at school, or work, they sleep in.  This allows for extended coffee time with my other half, or time to clean house without any interruptions. It’s glorious!

6. They can cook the basics. Even if it’s just eggs & toast or grilled cheese. If they’re hungry and it’s late, or my other half is traveling, I’m not on the hook for a whole meal!

7. I don’t have to lug around a diaper bag loaded to the gills with 8 changes of clothes, diapers, wipes, toys, and snacks. While we’re on the subject of diapers, there are no poop “episodes” just as we’re leaving the house. Seriously! I don’t know how many times I was heading out the door, late, and just as we’re locked and loaded in the car, the stench would waft from the back seat, and it was all the way up their back and down their leg. Screw you peas and sweet potato!

8. Profanity is no longer censored. I was so strict about language when our girls were young, my friend Jessica used to call them the “word police”. Let’s face it, sometimes “shoot”, “gosh darn it”, and “fudge” just isn’t going to cut it. In fact, my desperate need to use a swear word is how our younger daughter got her nickname. (That’s a story for another post – she’s always been a bit of a firecracker.) Frankly, none of the kid-friendly “swear” words have the same effect that the F-bomb does, and now that they’re adults, it’s actually funny when they slip and let one fly too.

9. Their homework is just that, THEIRS! No late evening trips to the local Walgreens for glue sticks, glitter, and posterboard (which they WILL inevitably be out of because every kid in the neighborhood is frantically doing the same damn project). That’s all I have to say about that.

10. Privacy in the bathroom! My mantra was always “I get to pee by myself!” No more knocking on the door, or little eyes peeking under. No answering questions about body parts and bodily functions. Just ME. ALONE. IN. THE. BATHROOM.

11. No more driving lessons and late night pick-ups. I served my time white-knuckling it in the passenger seat; grasping the oh-sh** handle, holding back expletives, eyes squeezed so tightly closed my brains might pop out my ears. I have also racked up my share of frequent flier miles shuttling them from here, to there, and back at all hours.

12. They help around the house. They unload the dishwasher, vacuum, dust, rake leaves, take out the trash, and did I already mention THEY DO THEIR OWN LAUNDRY!

13. I am not aimlessly wandering the Target toy aisles, dodging strategically placed end caps full of My Little Pony, or daydreaming of tropical beach vacations while passing the “Luau Barbie” display. BONUS: Sometimes we divide the list at the market to speed things up. Woot! Woot!

14. No tantrums, no time-outs in the corner, no potty breaks, and they pack their own sports bags and suitcases. Period.

15. They’re even more fun to talk to! They’re witty and sarcastic, and it’s often hilarious even when it shouldn’t be. Our girls have opinions about what’s happening in the world. This ultimately leads to some great conversations and it’s enlightening to hear their views.

Are you parenting, or almost parenting, teens and/or young adults? If change has been a challenge for you you, there is hope! If you have already parented through this stage, would you add anything to this list? I’d love to hear it!

-Kim

life, motherhood

Parenting hacks from a mom who’s been there…

Last week, a friend and I were talking about parenting stages. We both have college aged kids now so we’ve “been there and done that”. When she asked if I would go back and do anything differently, I paused. I was pretty sure I had most of it figured out. I’m not saying my husband and I did everything right. On the contrary. We definitely did not get everything right, but we raised two kids who made their share of mistakes, and still survived to adulthood, so I suppose we must have done a few things correctly?

Seriously, our daughters are turning out to be really good people. I know, I’m probably a little biased. Maybe even just a smidge more than a little? Still, they’re pretty awesome in my book. Isn’t that the whole idea though? Parenting with your best foot forward 99% of the time, so you can send intelligent, curious, kind, and socially responsible people out into the world, to make it a better place. Well, that’s the way we approached it anyway.

That said, there are some things that I didn’t fully understand back then.

  • First things first! Don’t second guess your capabilities. I have repeatedly heard parents wonder out loud if they’re doing it all right? Of course you’re not! None of us are. How could we? Those little wonders don’t come with a manual and all the parenting books in the world won’t completely prepare you, or keep you from making mistakes. There will be “bad” days. Shoot, there might even be a stint of them. If you’re doing your best, YOU ARE ENOUGH! Look in the mirror and ask yourself “Am I using all the tools I have to be the best parent I can be?” If your honest answer is yes, you are doing enough.
  • Speaking of “bad”days. Let’s just get this one off the table now. We have all said or done something (if you haven’t, you will) that makes us cringe. We are human after all. We get overwhelmed and tired. It’s OK. Just don’t unpack and live there. Stop, take a deep breath, or a few of them…apologize, and LET IT GO!
  • You can’t do it all at home and you shouldn’t feel like you have to. Looking back, our girls could have had more chores. Put your little angels to work. They can help fold laundry and unload the dishwasher. They should be picking up their rooms and making beds. Will three of those four chores turn out the same way they would if you did it yourself? Probably not, but it will be close enough, so who cares? A perfectly starched and spotless house is overrated. Martha Stewart doesn’t live here. Nothing against Martha, but I’m certain she has “people” who do all that for her. Perfection is for model homes. It’s getting done and that’s all that matters. As they grow, give them a weekly chore list. You are lessening your work load and teaching them simple lessons in the process.
  • School isn’t a competition. “Oh, my goodness, my little SallyJane just wouldn’t know what to do if she got a B!” If that works for SallyJane, so be it. My kids were never straight A students and at times I agonized over my girls grades even though with a mix of A’s and B’s, they were doing just fine. We ended up putting undue pressure, on our oldest, in math. Unfortunately, she inherited my math skills. (Sorry TT!) We tried everything and she would work her rear end off for a C. The thing is, there was nothing wrong with a C. We finally accepted she was doing her best and that’s what mattered!

As it turns out, both of our daughters got accepted to the colleges of their choice and she only needed one math class for her major. There really is a reason for everything!

  • You don’t have to be BFF’s with all the other parents at school. Be friendly to everyone, but it’s OK to pick and choose who you really want to get to know. Let those relationships grow organically. There is only so much energy to go around and none of it should involve forced interactions.
  • No is a complete sentence. An explanation is not always required. Practice in the mirror. Own it.
  • Take at least 15 minutes for yourself daily. I didn’t do this and I should have. Make some tea, read, take a nap, sit outside on the porch in the sun, do some gardening. If you don’t want to take 15 minutes, devote an evening to a class. Whatever is good for you, do it!

I will also add (and this is not to be lumped in with your 15 minutes of “you” time) that it’s not OK for your kids to follow you into the bathroom. My mantra was always “I get to pee by myself!”

  • There will be days when you don’t feel like playing another round of Candy Land, Go-Fish, saving the world, or attending the Barbie dance party. Take a walk to the park and save your sanity instead.
  • Mom guilt is real. Don’t give in to it – go back and review the bullet point about being enough.
  • Date night should be a regular thing. Once a week. Once a month. Every other month. It can be as simple as going for a walk, or out for an ice cream. Another friend of mine schedules stay-in pool side date nights. I love that idea! My husband and I didn’t begin regular date nights until our girls were older. We always spent lots of time together as a family, so we have no regrets in that department, but we could have carved out more time for us as a couple when our girls were younger.

I’m sure there are a few other things I would do differently. Maybe I’ll write about those, down the road, in another post. For now, these were the most obvious. Maybe you would do a few things differently too?

#Parenting; would I do most of it the same? Absolutely.

-Kim

motherhood

Back-up plans and stepping forward. It’s just a calculated risk…

In business, my husband is all about calculated risk. In our personal life we have never done anything “the way you’re supposed to.” What’s life without a few plot twists? We are high school sweethearts. We were still in college and I was working for a software company, when I found myself pregnant with our first daughter. I was 22 years old when she arrived.

We scrimped and saved and bought a home with a little yard. In 1996, two semi-broke, working college students could still buy a house in Sonoma County! (I know it sounds crazy, but it’s true!) In those early years, we took a calculator to the grocery store. I left school. I went to work before the sun was up and he worked swing shift so we didn’t have to put our baby in daycare. Along the way, we got married. Three of us became four and that same year we started a business. We decided that one of us at home was the best thing for our daughters. Then we partnered in a second business, unrelated to the first. There were ups and downs and for the most part, life was simple. I wouldn’t change any of it.

An acquaintance once told me that she had difficulty adjusting to becoming a mom (at 33) and she asked me what my back-up plan was? I never had a back-up plan before becoming a mom. I never gave it much thought. In high school and college I fouled off ideas like they were wiffle balls. Maybe I would be an attorney. Maybe a journalist, or a photographer. I loved the idea of being a flight attendant. The only thing I knew for certain was that at some point, I wanted to be a mom. Not just any mom. The best mom I was capable of being. My back-up plan was built in. We had two businesses. My husband would need help with those and then later there would be grandchildren. I was set.

That conversation was a light bulb moment and I ignored it. I realize now that she had more than a decade of adulthood under her belt before becoming a mother. Even if their focus shifts, older moms have building blocks that I would not establish until much later. At 33, I had been a mom nearly ALL my adult life and I really hadn’t established who I (me, myself, outside of my role as mom) was at all.

Someone could have flicked me on the ear, or at least mentioned it to me in passing. “Hey! HEY! Just a reminder that kids grow up fast! What if you and your husband aren’t on the same page? What are your plans after that? Do you want to be standing there, like a monkey in front of a mirror, just scratching your head? Why didn’t anyone tell me? (insert sarcastic chuckle here.)

Fast forward. I was on the precipice of 40 when our oldest daughter graduated from high school AND I realized my husband didn’t want my help. It was a triple whammy! What’s that old saying about just assuming? Yes, “judgement day” was coming, but between homework, shuttling kids among sports schedules, piles of laundry, cooking, errands, cleaning, etc. it always seemed so far off. Many times I said I would finish my degree before I turned 40, but I never felt like I had time to think about it. Truth? I never allowed myself to think about it. Part of me felt guilty thinking about myself. Of course, self-care isn’t selfish at all, but my identity was so wrapped up in being a mom and wife, I couldn’t see it at the time. Moms, take note! #selfcareisNOTselfish !!

In those final years, I built a bit of resentment and it took me awhile to sort through what I was feeling. Let’s be clear, my husband is a brilliant, hard-working man, who is also a wonderful husband, father, and best friend. I love him with my whole heart and every ounce of my being. I’m not exaggerating when I say he is brilliant. He is GOOD. AT. EVERYTHING. Do you know someone like that? I found myself torn between emotions. He goes to work everyday and is his own boss. He travels often, has client meetings, conference calls, barbecue nights, private track days, and dinners at nice restaurants. Sounds glamorous doesn’t it? It really isn’t. Most of me was “bragging rights proud” of his hard work and well deserved successes. A part of me was just the tiniest bit envious that his purpose was not in question and he still had it all figured out, and the other part of me was mad at myself for assuming I had a built in back up plan and not being able to step forward into my next phase.

I would bring up my feelings about becoming “irrelevant” and he would respond with “Well, you should…” He made it seem trivial, as though it was all just so simple. My blood would instantly boil (INCOMING!) and I would return fire with something really snarky like, “Well, when am I supposed to do that?” or “Wow! It must be nice to have time to figure out ALL the answers!” I know he was trying to help, but everything seemed impossible. Our busy season, according to the calendar, is from late February until late October; with miscellaneous events mixed into November, December and January. Our busy season, in reality, is all year long. So he was still traveling and I was still parenting (and cooking and cleaning and everything else.) He couldn’t possibly understand and I definitely did not want someone, whose identity was not in question, telling me what I should be doing. In those moments, I just wanted to be heard.

Pondering what life looked like beyond being a stay at home mom, I knew I had to figure out what my next act would be, but I had no idea what it was. Once I turned the “big 4-0” I felt like my timeline for decisions was limited and I no longer had time to waste. I wanted to go back to school, but I couldn’t decide on a direction. For the first time, I felt overwhelmed by the idea that I had done everything in my life backwards. It was suffocating. I was terrified of wasting time and yet, I was floundering like a trout on the dock, stuck in a cycle of thinking that I needed to have all the answers before I could begin. 

One morning, over coffee, the tears welled up as I asked, “What if I choose wrong?” My husband very gently replied, “just take the first step” and finally a switch flipped. It’s a calculated risk. I don’t need to have all the answers right now, I just need to keep moving forward.

So for now I’m a mom, a wife, and more recently, I’m a student (again) and  writer. We have never done anything the way “you’re supposed to.” It still seems to work just fine.

-Kim

motherhood

I am an “obsolete” mom. You might be one too…

We all have fears.

My husband and I met when we were teenagers. In college, I thought I knew exactly where I was headed. We were young when our first daughter was born and I was never afraid of motherhood. I took it on and embraced it; the good (breastfeeding and bottles when I was certain I might be starving our oldest) , the bad (poopy diapers, spit-up, and sleepless nights) and the colic – which can only be defined as the ugly! All of it! Sure there were weepy nights here and there; quietly rocking the baby on the bed, staring blankly at the wall – no sleep will do that to you! Still I never questioned my abilities or purpose.

Fast forward eighteen years! (In spite of what everyone might tell you, those two words are really the only accurate way to describe how quickly your children grow up! Truthfully!)

A stark reality began hanging around my head like a little black cloud. As much as I didn’t want to admit it, life was changing and soon I would be “obsolete”. I have always welcomed change, but without warning, I found myself petrified of it! I was in unfamiliar territory and surrounded by mountains of questions. Questions that I had only very casually considered over the years. One morning I looked in the mirror and all I could think was “who in the hell am I and what am I going to do now?” and the tears began to flow…I had lost sight of my purpose.

Oh, deep down I know that as parents, we are never truly obsolete. If we are really doing the best job we can, our sweet little ducklings are supposed to spread their wings and create their own nests. I knew all of this. Really, I did! Of course, knowing is one thing. Learning to embrace the changes can be an emotional mine field!  Eventually, I realized that I couldn’t possibly be alone in my fears, so I decided to own it and figure out how to move forward. Read a bit more about me and why I started this blog here.

Welcome! I’m an “obsolete” mom. Maybe you are too?

– Kim