We all have fears.
My husband and I met when we were teenagers. In college, I thought I knew exactly where I was headed. We were young when our first daughter was born and I was never afraid of motherhood. I took it on and embraced it; the good (breastfeeding and bottles when I was certain I might be starving our oldest) , the bad (poopy diapers, spit-up, and sleepless nights) and the colic – which can only be defined as the ugly! All of it! Sure there were weepy nights here and there; quietly rocking the baby on the bed, staring blankly at the wall – no sleep will do that to you! Still I never questioned my abilities or purpose.
Fast forward eighteen years! (In spite of what everyone might tell you, those two words are really the only accurate way to describe how quickly your children grow up! Truthfully!)
A stark reality began hanging around my head like a little black cloud. As much as I didn’t want to admit it, life was changing and soon I would be “obsolete”. I have always welcomed change, but without warning, I found myself petrified of it! I was in unfamiliar territory and surrounded by mountains of questions. Questions that I had only very casually considered over the years. One morning I looked in the mirror and all I could think was “who in the hell am I and what am I going to do now?” and the tears began to flow…I had lost sight of my purpose.
Oh, deep down I know that as parents, we are never truly obsolete. If we are really doing the best job we can, our sweet little ducklings are supposed to spread their wings and create their own nests. I knew all of this. Really, I did! Of course, knowing is one thing. Learning to embrace the changes can be an emotional mine field! Eventually, I realized that I couldn’t possibly be alone in my fears, so I decided to own it and figure out how to move forward. Read a bit more about me and why I started this blog here.
Welcome! I’m an “obsolete” mom. Maybe you are too?