Being a mom is the best job I have ever had and it has also been the most challenging. I have struggled with the motherhood role changes the passage of time brings. If you’re not familiar with my story, you can read my very first post here.
I still miss our babies cuddled up in my lap, listening to a story, or the muffled patter of the rain in the middle of the night. I miss the “baby smell”, their sweet little faces watching me intently while we sing quietly in the rocking chair, baking cookies with them, and regular family movie nights with all of us snugly tucked into our bed.
The other day, I was in the midst of writing another post and our oldest came buzzing in from work. She sat down to chat with me for a few minutes about her day and then she proceeded to make something to eat, before disappearing to shower.
In the moments after that interaction, I came to the realization (several of them really) that being an #obsolete mom, and parenting kids 18+, has some real advantages.
15 Realizations about parenting kids that are 18+…
1. They do their own laundry!!! Enough said.
2. Going out to dinner isn’t a crap shoot anymore and the restaurant doesn’t have to be family-friendly. There’s no worrying about the possible no-nap meltdown, who has the green crayon, or fighting over which fork belongs to who.
3. The only butt I have to wipe is my own. If you consider this TMI, sorry. With the exception of changing the toilet paper roll, they handle their own bathroom business. I mean what could anyone possibly miss about wiping someone else’s behind? The end.
4. I no longer have to watch Beauty and the Beast, Sleeping Beauty, The Little Mermaid, Pooh’s Grand Adventure, or The Jungle Book 585 times in a row. Disneyland is truly one of my FAVORITE places and I love Disney movies, but I don’t feel the need to see any of them on repeat anymore.
5. When not at school, or work, they sleep in. This allows for extended coffee time with my other half, or time to clean house without any interruptions. It’s glorious!
6. They can cook the basics. Even if it’s just eggs & toast or grilled cheese. If they’re hungry and it’s late, or my other half is traveling, I’m not on the hook for a whole meal!
7. I don’t have to lug around a diaper bag loaded to the gills with 8 changes of clothes, diapers, wipes, toys, and snacks. While we’re on the subject of diapers, there are no poop “episodes” just as we’re leaving the house. Seriously! I don’t know how many times I was heading out the door, late, and just as we’re locked and loaded in the car, the stench would waft from the back seat, and it was all the way up their back and down their leg. Screw you peas and sweet potato!
8. Profanity is no longer censored. I was so strict about language when our girls were young, my friend Jessica used to call them the “word police”. Let’s face it, sometimes “shoot”, “gosh darn it”, and “fudge” just isn’t going to cut it. In fact, my desperate need to use a swear word is how our younger daughter got her nickname. (That’s a story for another post – she’s always been a bit of a firecracker.) Frankly, none of the kid-friendly “swear” words have the same effect that the F-bomb does, and now that they’re adults, it’s actually funny when they slip and let one fly too.
9. Their homework is just that, THEIRS! No late evening trips to the local Walgreens for glue sticks, glitter, and posterboard (which they WILL inevitably be out of because every kid in the neighborhood is frantically doing the same damn project). That’s all I have to say about that.
10. Privacy in the bathroom! My mantra was always “I get to pee by myself!” No more knocking on the door, or little eyes peeking under. No answering questions about body parts and bodily functions. Just ME. ALONE. IN. THE. BATHROOM.
11. No more driving lessons and late night pick-ups. I served my time white-knuckling it in the passenger seat; grasping the oh-sh** handle, holding back expletives, eyes squeezed so tightly closed my brains might pop out my ears. I have also racked up my share of frequent flier miles shuttling them from here, to there, and back at all hours.
12. They help around the house. They unload the dishwasher, vacuum, dust, rake leaves, take out the trash, and did I already mention THEY DO THEIR OWN LAUNDRY!
13. I am not aimlessly wandering the Target toy aisles, dodging strategically placed end caps full of My Little Pony, or daydreaming of tropical beach vacations while passing the “Luau Barbie” display. BONUS: Sometimes we divide the list at the market to speed things up. Woot! Woot!
14. No tantrums, no time-outs in the corner, no potty breaks, and they pack their own sports bags and suitcases. Period.
15. They’re even more fun to talk to! They’re witty and sarcastic, and it’s often hilarious even when it shouldn’t be. Our girls have opinions about what’s happening in the world. This ultimately leads to some great conversations and it’s enlightening to hear their views.
Are you parenting, or almost parenting, teens and/or young adults? If change has been a challenge for you you, there is hope! If you have already parented through this stage, would you add anything to this list? I’d love to hear it!